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the year 3000 10/3/2003
In the year 3000, I think sex will be a lot different.
"Honey, I'm in the airlock now."
"Okay, Bob. Leave the sperm in the dish. I'll
get it tomorrow."
0 Comments, 19 Views,
31 Votes
,0.08 Score
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lesbians 10/2/2003
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common???????They
both use snap-on tools
2 Comments, 31 Views,
36 Votes
,4.71 Score
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The customer and the 10/1/2003
A guy walked up to a and started talking to her
about all kinds of stuff.
<br>
She gets mad and said "Look is there something I can
do for you?"
<br>
The man said "All I want is a little pussy."
<br>
She replied "So do I mine is as big as a hat."
0 Comments, 60 Views,
41 Votes
,2.84 Score
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Phasing out breast reduction 10/1/2003
A guy was looking at his wife undress before they went to
bed.
<br>
she was standing there naked and looked down and said "Iwished
my tits were bigger I should get implants".
<br>
The husband said "You don't need implants you
can make them bigger yourself, hold on".
<br>
He jumped, ran to the bathroom and came back with toilet
paper. she said "How will ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
40 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Your pussy is too big when 10/1/2003
A couple was getting ready to have sex. The wife gave the
husband a blow job, and then he started to go down on her.
<br>
"Damn you got a big pussy" Damn you got a big pussy.
<br>
She looked down angrily at him and said "You didn't
have to say it twice."
<br>
He said "I didn't."
1 Comments, 92 Views,
98 Votes
,6.82 Score
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True friends 10/1/2003
one day a wife was at home cleaning the house while her husband
Bob was out looking for a job.
<br>
The doorbell rings and she answers it. It is his best friend
Larry.
<br>
Hi she said "what can I do for you?"
<br>
Larry says "I heard Bob is looking for a job and you
guys need money right?" "So I thought you have
such a nice pair of tits I would pay $20 ...
1 Comments, 202 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score
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Small World 10/1/2003
Bill and his best friend Scott get together to go golfing.
Well they are playing along at a good pace and they come to
the 10th hole a par three 210 yrds. On the green is a woman
and she hits the ball, then she hits it back across, then
back.
<br>
Scott says to Bill "Go ask her if we can play through
she's holding us up."
<br>
Bill gets in the cart drives halfway ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
43 Votes
,6.56 Score
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Grandchild helps his Grandparents 10/1/2003
Gramps is sitting on the porch one day watching his grandson
play with a worm he found in the yard.
<br>
Gramps walks over to the boy and says " Joe I'll
bet you $5 you can't make that worm go back in his hole."
<br>
Joe tried and tried but the worm kept curling up. Finally
Joe runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray.
He holds the worm and sprays ...
1 Comments, 107 Views,
50 Votes
,7.79 Score
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Viagra variations 9/30/2003
With VIAGRA such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole
line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance
of men in today's society..
<br>
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving
on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
<br>
PROJECTRA - Men given this ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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Little Johnny Joke 9/30/2003
Lil Johnny was playing one day in the house cause it was raining
out side, after a while of hearing these wired noises his
mom walked into the room to see what he was doing.
There he was starting back up the stairs, Lil Johnny got
to the top stair and took one step down, the put an m&m candy
in his mouth, had a little kitten on his shoulder and Lil
Johnny leaned over and bit the kitten, ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
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Chocolate better than sex! 9/30/2003
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
<br>
1 You can GET chocolate.
2 "If you love me you'll swallow that" has
real meaning with chocolate.
3 Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4 You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5 You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
5 You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
6 ...
1 Comments, 36 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Two blondes 9/27/2003
Two blondes decided to go to Disneyland. They were almost
there when they saw a sign that read "Disneyland LEFT"
So they turned around and went home.
0 Comments, 8 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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THE ACCIDENT 9/25/2003
Ted was waiting one day for his wife to come home from work.
When she did not show ted got worried. Then the phone rang
and the county sheriff was on it. He exclaimed to Ted that
he had some good news and some bad news. Well what's
the bad news ted asked. Well your wife was involved in a horrible
car accident, she will need help eating and shitting for
the rest of her life. ''Oh my god! ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
0 Votes
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What they really mean 9/23/2003
MEN'S ADS- What they say vs. what they really mean!
<br>
40-ish................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic..............Watches a lot of sports on TV
Aims to please....... But can't more than 2 minutes
Average looking.......Unusual hair growth on ears, nose,
& back
Educated..............Will patronize the shit out of
you
Good tongue action ...drools, ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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Mickey Mouse In Court 9/22/2003
Mickey Mouse wanted a divorce from Minney but once in front
of the judge, he had a problem since the judge wasn't
going to grant the divorce.
"I can't justify your reasoning. Insanity is
not enough grounds for divorce." Said the judge.
"I didn't say she was insane, " Replied
Mickey. "I said she was fucking Goofy!"
0 Comments, 26 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Hold your NOSE 9/21/2003
Question: What do you get when you cross a porcupine and
a
skunk?
<br>
Answer: A s-t-i-n-k-y, s-t-i-c-k-y pussy
0 Comments, 13 Views,
241 Votes
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Blond Handiwoman 9/21/2003
A blond handiwoman is going from door to door looking for
work. She knocks on a door and a husband and wife answer.
She asked if they had any jobs to be done. Husband says "the
porch needs painting.....How much?". Blond says
fifty dollars.usband says OK....the paint is in the garage.
The wife says to the husband "FIFTY DOLLARS??? I don't
think she knows how big the porch is!" Husband says ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
244 Votes
,6.77 Score
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Survey 9/17/2003
A woman was walking down the street when she was stopped
by a man who was carrying out a survey. "Excuse me,
Madam, we're doing a survey on peoples' attitudes
towards sex."
"Really!" said the woman smiling. "Could
you please tell me what you think of sex on the television?"
<br>
"Well, " replied the woman, "I think
it's extremely uncomfortable, especially when you've
got the ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
45 Votes
,1.48 Score
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liscense 9/9/2003
What kind of license does a lesbian need to get married?
A lick-her license.
0 Comments, 7 Views,
23 Votes
,4.06 Score
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When you are dating 9/5/2003
When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue
When you are married ....You make sure there's nothing
flammable near your husband...... at all time
<br>
When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time
When you are married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says
"What are you going to drink?"
<br>
When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public
...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
55 Votes
,6.81 Score
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Chocolate better than Sex 9/2/2003
<br>
<br>
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
<br>
1. You can GET chocolate.
<br>
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that"
has real meaning with chocolate.
<br>
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
<br>
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
<br>
5. ...
2 Comments, 49 Views,
34 Votes
,6.39 Score
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Sick newlywed joke 8/31/2003
A young couple go to a nice lakeside resort on their honeymoon.
That evening the old resort owner sees the groom sitting
on the dock fishing. The owner approaches the young man
and says" You know it's none of my business but
it being your wedding night and all should'nt you be
inside making love to your wife?"
The groom responds "I would but she has gonorhea."
The old timer asks "Well how ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
81 Votes
,6.45 Score
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LAUGH ?? - I thought my pants would never dry !! 8/23/2003
A woman is getting ready to go out when, her husband enters
the room.
<br>
"Look at me" she says, "I'm ugly,
overweight, my hair's a mess and this dress looks awfull
on me. Please pay me a compliment darling"
<br>
He replies - "your eyesight is excellent"
0 Comments, 28 Views,
136 Votes
,7.99 Score
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Horny Hippo 8/21/2003
Q. Why do hippopotumuses fuck in water??????
<br>
A. Have you ever tried to keep a 2 pound clitoris wet
0 Comments, 6 Views,
97 Votes
,4.55 Score
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differences-2 8/19/2003
wt is the difference between a man of god and a lady in bath
tub?
<br>
<br>
a man of god has a Soul full of Hope but a lady in bath tub has
Hole full of Soap.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
59 Votes
,2.46 Score
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difference between and frypan and a women 8/18/2003
Q. what's the difference betwenn a women and a frypan?
<br>
<br>
<br>
A. nothing you can stick fat in both of them
0 Comments, 3 Views,
92 Votes
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difference between spaghetti and a women 8/18/2003
Q. what's the difference between spaghetti and a women?
<br>
<br>
<br>
A. nothing they both wiggle when you eat them.
0 Comments, 16 Views,
83 Votes
,6.16 Score
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gay joke 8/18/2003
How do you fit 4 gay men on a barstool?
<br>
Turn it upside down!
0 Comments, 18 Views,
86 Votes
,6.62 Score
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Small World 8/10/2003
Two best friends are golfing one day. The two ladies ahead
of them are really slow. So Bill says to Tim, "Go up
there and see if they would mind us playing through."
So Tim goes up halfway to the ladies, but returns sheepishly."No
way, man." Bill says, "Why?" Tim replies, "One
of those two ladies is my wife and the other one's my
mistress." So Bill agrees to go. Halfway there, he
also ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
106 Votes
,8.25 Score
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Golfing Buddies 8/7/2003
How do you know if your behind a group of homo-sexuals on
a golf course? When you yell fore they all drop their pants
and bend over.
1 Comments, 28 Views,
51 Votes
,0.46 Score
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