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Old couple 5/24/2003
An old couple were having dinner in an italian restaruant.
The old man looks at his wife and gets an evil grin on his face.
<br>
"You 'member the first time were here?"
He asks.
<br>
"I sure do. We made love like animals against the fence
in the back." She replied.
<br>
"You wanna do it again?" He asks.
<br>
She only laughed and said, "Follow ...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
148 Votes
,8.56 Score
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Two men 5/20/2003
A man is hanging from the edge of the Empire State Building
and across town another man is getting head from a 98 year
old woman with no teeth. What advice would you give them
both??? Don't look down
0 Comments, 22 Views,
54 Votes
,3.47 Score
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A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her 5/16/2003
Dear ,
<br>
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't
read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most
accidents happen
within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able
to send you the
address as the last Arkansasfamily that lived here took
the numbers with
them for their new house, so they wouldn't have to change ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
146 Votes
,7.67 Score
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Dr., lawyer, and a priest 5/14/2003
A doctor a lawyer and a priest were standing out side a burning
school house the Dr. said help someone save the .
The lawyer said FUCK!!! the , The priest look
at him and said do we have the time?????
0 Comments, 7 Views,
89 Votes
,5.52 Score
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Da bloody mary 5/11/2003
How do you know when a female bartender doesn't like
you?
<br>
<br>
<br>
They'll be a tampon in your bloody mary!
0 Comments, 6 Views,
53 Votes
,0.99 Score
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Intelligent Blond 5/9/2003
What do you call an intelligent blond?
GOLDEN RETRIEVER
0 Comments, 9 Views,
109 Votes
,7.21 Score
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Olympic Condoms 5/7/2003
A man comes home with a huge grin on his face & says to
his wife, Hey Honey why don't you run upstairs &
put on something sexy, I got a real treat for you, I just
bought a pack of those new Olympic condoms & I'm
going to wear the Gold one for you tonight, She looks at him
with a sarcastic grin then says, Sure thing honey but why
don't you wear the Silver one instead & come second
for a ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
130 Votes
,7.85 Score
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Village Moron goes into the bar .. 5/4/2003
The village moron goes into the bar, says Hi to the barman,
orders his drink. Dave the barman greets him and says ..
Your looking pretty pleased with yourself tonight Mike,
what have you been up to? " Well Dave, I am". "You
know I live near the railway line don't you"?
"Yes"says Dave. "I was on my way home the
other night, and I saw this beautiful blonde tied up on the
railway tracks". ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
107 Votes
,4.08 Score
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Honeymoon 5/4/2003
A couple arrives at their honeymoon suite and starts to
get undressed. The groom removes his shoes and sox, and
his wife starts laughing. He asks what she is laughing at,
and she says your toes. He says when I was a boy I had toelio.
She says you mean polio, and he says no, I had toelio. He removes
his trousers, and she starts laughing again. Now whats
so funny, he asks. Your knees, she ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
79 Votes
,3.57 Score
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The old folks 5/3/2003
A husband and wife had been married many many years. They
made an appointment with their Dr. because it seemed like
they were always tired. The Dr. took both of them and gave
them each a thorough checkup. Then, he took them both into
his office to give them the news. He starts out by telling
them that he sees only 1 reason that they are so tired all
the time.
At your age, you have got to ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
71 Votes
,6.87 Score
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High Sperm Count??????????? 4/30/2003
Q: How do you know if a man has a high sperm count?
<br>
A: On account of the fact that you have to chew before you
swallow
<br>
0 Comments, 28 Views,
66 Votes
,4.51 Score
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Woman goes into a bar .. 4/29/2003
This woman goes into a bar, sits on one of the stools, and
asks the barman for two beers. He serves her the two beers.
He watches her, she slowly drinks one, but tips the other
one in her lap. She leaves. Next day, she comes in again,
orders two beers, the barman again watches her drink one,
and tip the other one in her lap. Again she leaves. Third
day, comes into the bar, same order, ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
56 Votes
,0.17 Score
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blow job 4/28/2003
male whale was swimming with a friendly famale whale when
he Knoticed a wahing ship on the high seas. he told his partner
that he hated whaling ships and that they ought to swim underneath
and blow as hard as they could until the ship broke into pieces.
this they agreed to but as the ship broke up many sailors
were tossed overboard . come said the male whale, lets bite
and kill those ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
46 Votes
,2.59 Score
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An 80 yr old vigan lady goes to her doctor complaing of an itch in her crotch. 4/21/2003
The docotor dosn't want to have to look so he tells her
it's probably just the crabs. "what's that
?", she asks and he explains it. "no way, Im a
virgin." doc says "how in hell are you still
a virgin at 80 ? If i have to go in and look and all I find is the
crabs, i'm going to charge you double. she gets all
upset and leaves. 2nd day second doctor. "please
help me, i'm an 80 yr.old virgin ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
60 Votes
,4.24 Score
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woman looks like 4/19/2003
Woman at 18 is like FOOTBALL, 22 men after her. At 28 BASKETBALL,
10 men after her. At 38 GOLFBALL , one man after her. At 48
TENNIS BALL, 2 men pushing her to other.
0 Comments, 101 Views,
70 Votes
,3.84 Score
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chinese couple has black baby... 4/17/2003
a chineses couple has a black baby.. what should they name
it??
<br>
sum tin wong .
<br>
9 months later, she has a white baby. husband files for a
divorce, and gets everything he asks for from the judge
. why is this fair ?
<br>
<br>
two wongs dont make a white
0 Comments, 51 Views,
87 Votes
,5.53 Score
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Why Do Women Have 2 Sets Of Lips? 4/15/2003
Why do women have 2 sets of lips??
<br>
Because they always like to "piss and moan"
at the same time  ~yooperemt~
0 Comments, 14 Views,
85 Votes
,5.18 Score
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Alice limerick 3/31/2003
There once was a lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Dallas
2 Comments, 22 Views,
28 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Fellow from Kent 3/31/2003
There once was a fellow from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
So instead of cumming he went!
3 Comments, 33 Views,
18 Votes
,2.85 Score
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Limerick 3/30/2003
There was a young lad from Nantucket.
With a peter so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he whiped off his chin,
If t'would bend up my ass I would fuck it!
0 Comments, 10 Views,
36 Votes
,4.36 Score
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Gates 3/25/2003
"the Rich"
<br>
come to gates wreaking of wealth.
Peter enters choking out the words,
"smells like dirty laundry".
NO, that is impossible, I've always had the finest
or should I say, the cleaniness goods.
Peter replies, slow down boy, I was just needling.
1 Comments, 44 Views,
26 Votes
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Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
Musician:come to gates ringing the bell.
Peter:"don't do that, it's not time to
eat, besides,
we don't want the angels to hear you".
Musician play that bad?
Peter:"that bad, you were killing them down there,
man"!
1 Comments, 47 Views,
18 Votes
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Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Minister:comes to the gates calling out, "anybody
home"?
Peter:"nobody home, come back after the mail arrives".
Minister:when the mail arrives?
Peter:"yes, when the mail arrives"?
Minister no, let me explain?
Peter:"send your explanation to the Lord, you can
...
1 Comments, 27 Views,
16 Votes
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Gotta take a shit first 3/19/2003
A man is on a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles. As they take
off, the captain comes on the P.A. system and says "This
is your captain John Smith speaking. I'd like to take
the time to thank you for flying Air Canada, flight 666 from
Toronto to Los Angeles. We will be flying at 35, 000 feet
with an air speed of 650 miles per hour. If any of you have
further questions about the flight, just ...
1 Comments, 233 Views,
64 Votes
,6.99 Score
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MEN & WOMEN 3/17/2003
Why do MEN walk more and WOMEN talk more ???????
GUESS???? GUESS WHY ????? It is realy easy !!!!! Because
MEN have THREE legs and WOMEN have FOUR lips.
1 Comments, 57 Views,
48 Votes
,4.62 Score
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Deaf girl 3/16/2003
Man marries deaf girl. He mimes: “let’s make a code: if I
want sex, I will squeeze your breast. In response, u can
pull my penis, once for yes, and 50 times for no.”
0 Comments, 57 Views,
81 Votes
,7.40 Score
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Nuns Vacation 3/15/2003
Three nuns preparing for an outside mission were told by
the preist that they must first purify themselves if they
had touched any private parts of a man by washing their hands
in the holy water. The first shyly walked up and washed her
fingers in the water and said "it was just once"
the preist asked the second to proceed when all of the sudden
the third pushed her out of the way and ran ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
41 Votes
,7.00 Score
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Treatment of Viagra 3/14/2003
Teacher in class asked the : who knows for what is the
viagra?
One raised his hand and say: "for diarrhea sir!"
Teacher said:" how did you know?"
replay: "last night I heard my mother shout to
dad take a tablet of viagra may be your bloody shit will stop”.
0 Comments, 38 Views,
39 Votes
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First Blow Job 3/14/2003
Fellow walks into a bar, sits down and demands of the bartender,
" Joe, gimme two shots of Jack Daniels."
Joe pours the shots and the customer drinks them.
"Joe, gimme two more shots, and hurry!"
Joe pours two more and says, "Gee, Tom you usually
only drink beer."
Tom replies, "Yeah, that's right but I need two
more shots. FAST!!"
Joe pours the next two and asks, " Well why the ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
67 Votes
,4.86 Score
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Double Duty 3/12/2003
A woman is going at it with her husband's best friend
one af
ternoon when suddenly the phone rings.she hops out of bed
to
answer it, ''hello... OK, BYE''.
''Who was that?''ask the guy.
''just my husband, '' she replies.
''Oh, shit.i'd better get going.did he
say where he was?is he coming home?''
''Dont worry, ''says the wife.''he
said he's down at the bar playing a few games of pool ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
47 Votes
,7.18 Score
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